tennyo_elf: (Spuffy)
[personal profile] tennyo_elf
Summary: Goes together with A Stream of Silent Love, No Longer a River of Blood. A few months into S9 things get a bit hot. And silly. Buffy POV after a battle and a lot of booze.
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Buffy and Spike had just won a small little battle. Well, not exactly small. There had been a problem with a few rogue slayers, a hot looking demon and some issue with a prophecy stating something about the return of magic that had just went kablooey. But they won this one battle. But they had also lost some too during this ‘war’. A lot of girls died, some friends were lost and things weren't over.

But Buffy had Spike.

They were friends, sorta. They were companions, most definitely. They were partners, if you could call them that. They were oddly roommates, which was weird. They were also drinking buddies, how did that happen? Oh, and they had their ups and downs during it all, as their relationship had gotten in the way of just everyday life. As to what their relationship was, Buffy had no idea.

Since last year they danced around each other, arguing and sniping at each other. Buffy didn’t date, not with Spike back in her life and he…kinda did, but not really. A couple women he seemed to be with, where he flirted with too much gusto, turned out to be just women that were his friends, that he wasn’t dating. Of course Buffy really didn’t want to date because of the fiasco that was the year before this one.

Romance was something that wasn’t on her mind much, not with Angel (oh god, she was finally over him) and Xander (confusion at its finest), and of course the loss of Spike so many years before. And did she mention Satsu? That was a mess. She had to get her head clear. So she did and it felt great, but only not. Because all year while getting her life in order she felt something for Spike, that love that she held for him started to burn brighter. And brighter. Until she was a baked cookie and realized she loved Spike, truly loved Spike and wanted to be with him for the long run (no matter if he was immortal, not like she expected to live to 100).

But he seemed to have moved on, and now she was in agony. The one for her, the man she wanted in her future didn’t want her anymore. He once did, once loved her so much he got a soul for her. And she had been still hung up on Angel at the time (of course there had been other factors, mainly their own issues). She loved Spike then too, but she wasn’t ready for that type of love, not yet. When she got her life in order this year she let go of Angel and healed herself from the damage he wrought. Now it was too late to be with Spike, and deep inside, she hated Spike for moving on. Spike wasn’t supposed to move on.

They were now entering their flat, both too drunk to walk straight, celebrating their victory. When Spike lost his bug ship he needed a place to stay and she needed to move out of Xander's and Dawn’s flat. So they reluctantly agreed to cut cost and move in together, which turned out to be a bad idea, because she hurt every time she saw him come and go. But it worked out in the end, somehow.

They both fell on the couch happily, on opposite ends. They chuckled like chuckle monsters and sat in silence for a couple minutes. Then Spike lazily got up.

“Where you going?” Buffy was indignant of his leaving the couch and her.

“Kitchen, I think I left another bottle somewhere in there.”

“More alcohol?”

“Why not? We bloody won didn’t we?”

“Aren’t you clobbered enough already?”

“No, I want to be properly pissed that I don’t remember a thing tomorrow mornin’.”

“Jees, that’s a bit much.” Buffy leaned farther into the couch, looking far too comfy, “Get me a glass too.”

“Aye, aye Capt’n.”

Spike brought back a large bottle of something that was way too strong for her and two glasses. He sat back down on the couch and poured them a drink. After a few turns, they began recalling the battle in voices that were a bit too loud for the neighbors.

“He was under my knee swearing and begging for mercy. The bloke was already 6 feet under and he wanted another go at life after all the mess he conjured up. He was so arse over elbow working for Mr. Sunshine he should been asking me to stake him, not spare him.”

“I remember that. Then you staked him in mid sentence. Hardly worth the effort.”

“Oh, you should have seen the next one.”

“I missed that one, had to fight the big one. Or hairy one, or was that the pink one?”

“Couldn’t tell you, luv. I was a bit busy at that moment.”

After a few more drinks and half the bottle, they were no longer on opposite sides of the couch. They were almost sitting next together. They had about a hands width space between them, but they didn’t touch.

“I meant it. I totally meant it. I said I love you and you dumped me. You jerk.”

“That right?” He turned to look at her and Buffy, as drunk as she was, looked right back daring him to call her a lair.

“Totally true...bleh, what is this, more yak urine?”

The bottle was almost gone a little while later. They were now sitting next to each, casually touching each other while holding their last glass of extremely strong booze.

“I still love you. Been a long time, yeah, but even after you ran off with Angelus, I still…Yeah.”

“Really?” Buffy’s voice grew high in pitch. But she snuggled closer to Spike. “I got a secret too.”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m cookies, finally!”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “What was that pet?”

“I’m baked! Imma cookie, so eat me!”

“You a bit dicky?”

“Huh…what dick? I don’t have a dick! You should know that!”

“Right, so you want me to cut your cookie with my cookie cutters?”

“Er, no, well, yes, no wait. I meant…” Buffy huffed, angry that she couldn’t explain better. “I love you, OK, so marry me.”

“Uh huh, then you’ll want me to sing you a tune and do a little ditty. No spells tonight luv, magic’s not back yet.”

“No seriously, I want you to marry me.” She was still looking at him dead on, daring him to refuse her.

“We’re both bladdered, I think. Don’t think you’re thinking on the clear.”

“You think? Doesn’t change it, I want you, I love you, marry me.”

“That's the alcohol speaking, luv.” But Spike smirked and softly put a hand on Buffy’s shoulder. She immediately folded into his arms, burying her face in his chest.

“You love me, I love you. It just makes sense to marry!” Her muffled words sounded like she was half sleep.

“With this much alcohol anything makes sense, but yeah OK. Let’s get hitched.” Spike pulled Buffy towards his face, comfortable as he was on the couch, so that his lips were just inches from hers.

“See! I knew…” Buffy moved closer herself, positioning her lips to hover just above his, “…you would see it…” Buffy chastely kissed him and then drew back just slightly, “…my way.”

The bottle was gone, the glasses were empty. In the moment she kissed him, they kissed again. And then again. Half a life time on the couch kissing brought on a blur of motion and passion. They didn’t make it to the bed at first and they didn’t care, but during their second and third time they did. They made love, the shagged gloriously, and they didn’t break one piece of furniture.

They woke up the next morning, both with a horrible hang over and no memory of the night before. After an unconscious morning cuddle they both bolted up and looked at each other. Buffy knew both of them were fearful of the damage this could do to their newly made ‘friendship’ but Buffy was even more fearful of what this would do to her heart.

They spoke at the same time:

“Oh, God no.”

“God no!”

Of course, this meant they had to talk. Or maybe they didn’t, maybe this was just a onetime thing. Just, Buffy hoped it wasn’t. Maybe this time they could turn their mistake into a not so mistake. Or maybe they would both be too scared of getting hurt to do anything about this. Or maybe…

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tennyo_elf

July 2012

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